Connect in the back of the net

Spurs fans have needed something to cheer them up in recent weeks.  

Therefore there was no better time for Poch to get suited up, adopt the look of a IT salesman and get Harry Kane to renew his Windows 10 licenses for another 3 years.  

Actually it was 5 years and a £100k a week contract and Kane will probably shut down unexpectedly for long periods of time whilst he updates.  

Still, let’s just hope nobody realises it was a blank piece of paper hey?


Cazorla again injured

What was that noise?  The sound of Arsenal fans crying their eyes out as yet another excuse for not winning the Premier League has been presented to Arsene all nicely wrapped up like an early Christmas gift.  

Carzola is out injured forever, well five months, by which point Arsenal will be out of Europe and sizing up exactly how they can secure 4th place.


Koeman’s latest crime

Ronald Koeman is making even more friends on Merseyside.  His latest crime is dressing his Christmas tree in red.  

It’s going to be a tough month for Ronald, what with red being one of the more Christmassy of colours.


FYI: This piece is satirical.


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