Connect in the back of the net

My name is Donald Trump
I am the new U.S. President,
Now I will change things -
and make a mega statement.

We are going to have our
lunch - at my inaugural
ceremony -
From ‘lobster’ to ‘roast
beef-steaks’ - it’s cost me a lot
of money.

I will also watch some
soccer - especially the
English Premier League,
it’ll be just like the White
House - plenty of intrigue!

I also enjoy some golf,
in a country called: ‘Scotland.’
Maybe I’l eat some haggis -
if I wave my magic wand!

I really do like Manchester
United - and Liverpool are
also great,
And, just like me, they do
go on - and they never
accept defeat!

I love to flirt in the spotlight,
and make my presence felt,
But, now, I’m in the top job -
maybe I’ll have my collar

I even like the Arsenal - and
Chelsea, and Man City,
And I also enjoy their half
time breaks, I think I’m
Walter Mitty!!!!

I really like Europe - now
they are very special,
All the soccer talent that’s
on show - no need for any

We American’s enjoy the
cream of English soccer,
And now I am the U.S.
President - let’s see what
is on offer?

Football and the soccer,
it means the same to us.
We Americans are clever -
we don’t cause a lot of

My name is Donald Trump -
and now I am the future,
English soccer is for me -
as my presidency is now

The future is now mine,
as I cause lots more intrigue,
The President of America -
I will now buy the English
Premier League!

We dine today on first class
food, we only have the best,
Drinking lots of champagne,
and I spill mine on my vest!

I now have sworn my staff
in - and all of them on oath.
They are all fans of English
soccer - like me “swearing”
on my trove!

We can chat away tonight
my friends, and I’ll also
watch TV.
But I will never watch BT
Sport - as I is no longer

I will dance the night away,
but I’ll hold on to my hair,
I’m as bald as Sir Bobby
Charlton, really, - but, do
I really care?

My name is Donald Trump -
and now I am the boss.
But I know a lot of people -
who just couldn’t give a

God Bless America - and
all that glorious intrigue,
I’m the President of the
U.S.A. - and the owner
of the; ‘English Premier
Soccer League!’


Written by Darryl Ashton 

Follow Darryl on Twitter @AlfGarnettJnr

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ALSO: Please check out Darryl’s two fascinating new books - one on football poetry: My Crazy World of Football Poetry, and the more politically-inducing: My Amazing World of Poems and Political Satire. Both are available to order on Amazon.