Connect in the back of the net

Alex Ferguson, pardon me, Sir Alex Ferguson.

A Premier League manager at Manchester United for 26 years, 38 trophies, statue outside Old Trafford, and widely considered one of the best managers to ever live. Fact!

On the contrary, Les Reed was a manager at Charlton Athletic and was sacked after 7 games. No trophies, no statue, widely considered the worst manager in Premier League history.

A bit harsh, as we’ve had some shockers.

Oscar Wilde once said, “The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”

Hmm maybe, but in the case of a Premier League manager it’s as simple as A-B-C and purer than the driven snow.


Doomed to fail

As a Premier League manager, you’re doomed to fail.

According to the boffins at Oxford University (why they did a stat on this topic I don’t know), a Premier League manager is 95% certain of getting sacked.

The same fans that applauded your arrival will be the very same fans that will spend hundreds of pounds making a banner, which will read ‘WENGER OUT’, then they will applaud the next manager and then create another banner.

Yep, this process just keeps on repeating itself. That dream of arriving at a football club winning trophies and then being waved off into the sunset with fans crying with disbelief that your leaving is just a dream.

There have been an astonishing 365 Premier League managers, with Newcastle being the biggest culprits having sacked 22 of their managers, Chelsea remain hot on their heels with 20, which we all know will soon be 21.

Yes, even the great Antonio Conte will be sacked once Abramovich gets his yearly twitch.

Let’s not forget in May 2012, Di Matteo won the Champions league and the FA Cup and then was sacked in November of that year.

Even the great Jose Mourinho was given his p-45 in 2015.


The chop

11 Premier League managers got the chop last season, well 12 really, but they now use the term ‘mutual consent’ to make it sound like the manager and the board of directors amicably decided to part ways.

However, it does wonders for the out-going manager’s reputation: “I wasn’t sacked I decided to leave my job, it was my decision”.

The average tenure of a Premier League manager is 1 year 2 months, that’s it.

So for all those new managers entering the best league in the world with a 3 year plan, you might want to revise your timetable.

According to William Hill, Walter Mazzarri who has been at Watford for 7 months is 5/6 to get his marching orders.

Worth a tenner, I guess.


Not all doom and gloom

Ok, enough of the doom and gloom because they don’t exactly do the job for free now do they.

According to the Daily Express, the lowest paid manager in the Premier league is Aitor Karanka with £355,000 (not to be sniffed at).

The highest paid managers (are you sitting down) are Pep Guardiola and Jose Mourinho who make an eye watering £15 million a season.


Do you actually give a damn?

So in summary, you won’t last, you probably won’t win a trophy, you won’t get a statue or even a plaque in your name fans will berate you, you will grow grey hair very quickly (*cough* Alan Pardew *cough*) .

But for potentially £15 million per season, do you even care?


Written by Ade Oladipo

Follow Ade on Twitter @BoxTalkUK

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